Dudley Dursley and Taking Over The Wizarding World
by Parfaiti
Summary: When Lord Voldemort decided to live in Harry Potter's body to rule the Wizarding World, he accidentally got stuck in another person who got in the way: Dudley Dursley. Permanently. Join Lord Vo- sorry, Dudley Dursley as he takes over the Wizarding World, with his loyal cousin Harry Potter at his side. Non-slash, crackfic at times


**Hey guys! Parfaiti here. *smiles weakly at non-existent readers***

**If you're reading this, then...**

**YAY! THANK YOU! I LOVE YOU! YES!**

**That said, I probably don't have any readers. *sad face***

**I don't have a beta, so please inform me if I made a grammar mistake, or didn't complete a sentence.**

**I don't own Harry Potter; if I did, Tomarry would be canon.**

* * *

In Privet Drive, Surrey, it was a normal day.

The normal neighbours of Number Four were normally hanging their normal clothes. Petunia Dursley was normally spying on her normal neighbours while peeking out from her normal white fence. Dudley Dursley was normally pummeling his abnormal freak of a cousin with the normal excuse of _because he's a freak, Mummy! _after he decided he was bored with normally watching his normal television show in the Dursleys' normal living room.

What wasn't normal was the translucent shield that popped out between the two eight-year-olds, due to accidental magic. The chubby blonde paused his fists and stared, and Harry Potter froze, his emerald eyes hidden behind cracked glasses brimming with shock.

* * *

It was another normal day of plotting while cackling hysterically for Lord Voldemort, but this day was also slightly special. He would set the plan in motion today!

He'd dragged himself out from the depressed and brooding stupor he had been in after he'd been hit by his own killing curse, stopped himself from dreaming about fluffy pink unicorns dancing on rainbows (he blamed a catchy song in his childhood for that image) and decided to get revenge.

He'd thought through all steps of his ploy and made sure that nothing could go wrong.

_Step one: take over Potter's body by the art of possession; he had to strengthen his magic for that part, though._

_Step two: use the fame Potter had for vanquishing him to rule the wizarding world, without the imbeciles knowing._

_Step three: enjoy his life immortal, happy with the knowledge that he was safe from Death because of his many horcruxes._

He focused, every inch of his floating, demonic spirit in deep concentration. He had to be careful; this possession was permanent.

_Harry Potter. _

_That kid with the bright green eyes and messy black hair._

Lord Voldemort gritted his non-existent teeth and set his non-extentent chin, then floated into the air.

An old lady carrying her grocery bags shrieked, seeing a dark mist with glowing red eyes dramatically rise into the sky above. She could almost hear the suspenseful music swelling in the background.

Once Voldemort was a good few miles up in the air, he thought of nothing but his destination - _Harry Potter, Harry Potter, Harry Potter _\- and shot towards the bane of his existence.

* * *

Fate and Karma decided to work together, for once.

Giggling madly, they altered the time it took for the wrathful spirit to reach Number Four, Privet Drive, and timed it exactly as Harry Potter flung up his shield.

Now, usually shields couldn't block Dark Lord-turned spirits away, but seeing as this was Harry I-Can-Do-The-Impossible Potter, he managed to do it.

The aforementioned adolescent watched, confused as something tenebrous shot towards him like the antithesis of a patronus, and… was flung back by his mighty shield.

The dark floating Thingie (what Harry had christened it with his eight-year-old brain, not unlike a certain Cornelius Fudge) bounced back, right into the face of the fat bully vaguely resembling a walrus, also known as Dudley Dursley.

Silence.

The pudgy boy's eyes blinked crimson, then returned to its glaucous blue, before widening in anger. _Merlin's bloody piece of random discarded earwax!_

Lord Voldemort, the formidable wizard so feared that nobody spoke his name, did what any other self-respecting Dark Lord would do in his place, after finding out that his sinister plan had been foiled permanently: H-

He bawled, wailing at the top of his lungs, as tears flooded down his cheeks.

\- Okay, maybe not exactly that.

**Review and favorite, or Voldemort will steal your cookies! **

***glare***


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